A breakup long due

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“Do you love me?” Amit asked.
She tried mumbling something about their friendship and how he was her best friend but she never saw him in that light, the usual dilly dallying of girls to avoid hurting and to procrastinate speaking the truth. But he was assertive. He needed a definite answer, a straight “yes” or “no”, “no more prepositions, no more words”. He made it clear that her answer would seal the deal for them. A no meant losing him forever. And she knew he meant it.
A myriad of memories started pouring in her head, all the happiness, the beautiful moments they had shared together. All the times when she had bared her heart in front of him and he had shown her the reason, being the level headed person that he was. The times they had bullied each other into doing things they thought best for each other. The times they studied together, found innovative methods for cheating together.He was always there for her, day or night she could call him anytime to vent her frustration or feelings about any or everything. He was her go to guy. Be it something as silly as the bad street food or as important as their aspirations and dreams, they could talk for hours about anything in the world. She would call him an “alien” for the level of unworldly tolerance that he had. Probably that is the reason he could still be close friends with her even though he had loved her for as long as six years and she had already declined his proposal once. Deep in her heart she knew this day would come, there was a limit for her alien friend too. She always dreaded it and the minute she had heard his drunk voice that day she knew something wasoff. He would always call her when he was drunk, but this time she heard adesolate voice, and there was something ominous about it. She knew he could not take it any longer. He needed a closure and for that he needed her answer.
It got her thinking about his question. The timing of his question could not have been worse. She was already struggling in life, hurt by the love of her life.She was really angry and vulnerable, perfect recipe for a bad decision to be made. And here Amit, her best friend wasproclaiming his love for her, and who she risked losing forever if she said no. He was a gem of a person, who she was very lucky to have in life. She knew he was a person who would always keep her happy.But could just that be the reason for being with someone!!Maybe for some but she was more complicated than that.
Being the twisted girl that she was and the mad guy she was in love with, the question made her realize how much her love meant to her. And how much she wanted to go back to him. Amit might be a perfect guy but not the perfect guy for her. Because she had her own set of imperfections that were well complemented by her love. They were like two rough surfaces with complimentary crests and troughs, together they bonded strongly. Her best friend can be the guy she would want in all the chapters of her life but not the one she would write her whole book about. She needs the drama, the love, the hatred, the jealousy, the possessiveness, the passion, the spontaneity, the unpredictability, the tears of joy and sadness that only her love can arouse in her.
She had heard time and again that you should end up with the person who loves you the most. She disagreed, she wanted to be with the person she loved the most, even if love burns, she wanted to burn in his love, she wanted the person she could falter and grow up together with. She reminisced the electrifying touch that she experienced when her love first touched her, the first time they hugged each other, the spontaneity of their first kiss, the first time they walked hand in hand together in rains, the first time they cried in front of each other, the first time they danced together, when they listened to the songs that seem to be penned for them.
She realized that she could love Amit like the dairy milk that would make her happy but not like the cookies she made herself with all the heart and love. The chocolate may be a safe bet but the cookies, though may burn sometime or not taste as good, but her heart will always belong to them as they are hers. And so she said NO to her best friend with the hope someday he will find his own cookie. J

Comments

  1. panjwaniamit10@gmail.comJuly 14, 2015 at 11:40 AM

    Good write up bhai, but how was i made a protagonist..;p

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownJuly 15, 2015 at 12:46 AM

    Hahaha..sahi mei I also want to know that!! :p

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownJuly 15, 2015 at 12:47 AM

    Hahaha..sahi mei I also want to know that!! :p

    ReplyDelete
  4. Mohit DolasJuly 25, 2015 at 8:05 AM

    @amit..bhai this is a tribute to the times spent in Baroda :P

    ReplyDelete

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